{"id":1344,"date":"2010-06-12T11:08:20","date_gmt":"2010-06-12T16:08:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/?p=1344"},"modified":"2010-06-12T22:17:48","modified_gmt":"2010-06-13T03:17:48","slug":"ninjas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/2010\/06\/ninjas\/","title":{"rendered":"Ninjas!"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is mostly true.<\/p>\n

So, I was at the dojo, about five years ago, teaching a basics class. About halfway through the lesson, I see this dude park himself right next to the mat, arms folded, scowling.\u00a0 Not wanting to interrupt practice, I ignored him for a bit. I did, however, take a look at his outfit: black gi, black belt (tied incorrectly), and\u2026a Caterpillar baseball cap.\u00a0We are in north Florida, after all.<\/p>\n

Since my classes normally don’t attract mysterious characters, (even the\u00a0scowling kind), I eventually made my way over to him. What follows is a loose transcription.<\/p>\n

Me: “Hi! Are you interested in Aikido?”
Him: “Not really, no.”
Me: “Uh…”
Him: “I just came to see your technique.”
Me: “Oh. Well, do you have any martial arts training?”
Him: “Yes. I studied ninjutsu under xxxxxx<\/span>.”<\/p>\n

Before I continue, let me just say that if he was a ninja, he was the worst ninja I’d ever seen.\u00a0 I mean, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? I could see him<\/em>. Plain as day, no cool smoke effects, no misdirection, not even a crummy ninja star. What a gyp.<\/p>\n

Me: “Okay. By the way, my name is Jerry.”
Him: “I’m Mr.<\/em> xxxxxx<\/span>.”<\/p>\n

Puh-leeeze.<\/p>\n

Me: <Smiling> “Well, you can still call me Jerry”
Him: <Staring, puzzled> Not. Quite. Getting. It.
Me: “I’m kidding. Don’t worry about it. Do you have any questions?”
Him: “No. I did, however,\u00a0see some mistakes in your class.”
Me: <What the…?!> “Excuse me?”
Him: “Mistakes. I can help your students train better.”<\/p>\n

Oh, now<\/em> I get it. He’s not here to train. He came here to teach<\/em>.\u00a0It actually takes me a second to process the absurdity of this conversation. Never let it be said that atemi must be physical.<\/p>\n

My immediate questions: (1) Is this guy for real? and (2) Was he sent by Cobra Kai?<\/a> I half expect a\u00a0John Kreese\u00a0figure to appear, yelling “Sweep the leg!” In the meantime, I can already hear muffled laughter behind me. I don’t want this to end badly (for our guest). Time for irimi.<\/p>\n

Me: “Have you ever studied Aikido?”
Him: “Just ninjutsu.”
Me: “Listen. I’m not sure what you’re hoping for, but you don’t seriously expect us to make you our teacher? Just because you\u00a0study ninjutsu?”<\/p>\n

Please say no.\u00a0For my sanity, at least.<\/p>\n

Him: <Staring blankly><\/p>\n

Good grief.<\/p>\n

Me: “Okay. Here’s the deal. You’re more than welcome to stay and train. As a beginner<\/em>. But you’ll need to\u00a0(1)\u00a0lose the belt, (2) lose the attitude, and (3) lose the hat.<\/p>\n

I just hate<\/em> Caterpillar\u00a0baseball caps.<\/p>\n

Did we ever see him again? What do you think?<\/p>\n

\u00b9Since I cannot independently verify his training,\u00a0I’m\u00a0omitting\u00a0the name of his instructor. The last thing I need\u00a0are angry ninjas hiding in my shrubs while I mow the lawn. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00b2For the record, I don’t think this guy had ever stepped foot in a dojo before, ninjutsu or otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is mostly true. So, I was at the dojo, about five years ago, teaching a basics class. About halfway through the lesson, I see this dude park himself right next to the mat, arms […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dojo","category-jerry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1344"}],"version-history":[{"count":77,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1421,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1344\/revisions\/1421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aikidocenterofjacksonville.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}