We love to talk about it, sometimes glibly, sometimes with an earnestness you can only find in a dorm room bull session. We tell each other to recognize it, avoid it, and at the end of the day, let go of it, as if it were some detritus we’ve collected over the years, imperceptibly, like some disintegrated portion of ourselves.<\/p>\n
I am referring, of course, to ego.<\/p>\n
And with apologies to Mr. Montoya, I do not think it means what you think it means.<\/p>\n
So, at the risk of offending all those earnest dorm room philosophers, I’d like to take a stab at it today. First, however, some background. What I propose here is not some metaphysical treatment of the concept, or an examination from, say, an Eastern or even aiki perspective. Today is all about practicality. And so, in that spirit, let’s subtitle\u00a0this little discourse…<\/p>\n
A Practical Guide to Ego<\/strong><\/p>\n We all know the signs of overt ego gratification, so I’ll dispense with this one quickly.<\/p>\n The subtle hints we give, that emphasize seniority; the conversations we have, that are intended to exclude; the gratitude we lack, when offered a lesson; these are all behaviors that, even in our worst moments, we recognize as ego driven. And these are the behaviors that, when allowed to pass unchecked, are most destructive to dojo life.<\/p>\n But there are other, less obvious signs of ego poisoning.<\/p>\n The Self-Deprecating Student<\/em><\/p>\n Let’s start at the other end of the spectrum, with someone you may recognize. She’s the Aikidoka most disappointed in her technique. Unrelentingly self-critical, she never seems to measure up to some arbitrary, personal standard she’s devised. In her mind, judgment has already been passed,\u00a0despite the remarkable progress she’s made, and continues to make.<\/p>\n And yes, she is just as ego driven as her boorish counterpart.<\/p>\n From where does her internal critic reside? And from what stuff does he make his judgment? From her own ego driven expectations.<\/p>\n